right where we want them

Got the boys pretty much right where we want them these days. Jonah’s tantrums still march ominously into our lives from time to time but they can more or less be subverted with a few well placed words and Ben’s (ahem) “heightened sensitivity” (which is a careful way of saying crying about everything) has subsided somewhat as he develops the ability to recognize and sometimes even join in on his parents jokes. Sam is still Sam and he more or less trots down the trail of life at his own pace and apart from the whole “wrong side of the bed” routine that plays itself out in our house one or two mornings a week, he gets through life on his charms seems to do so happily and without too much objection.

Yup, it’s under control out here in the woods and that feels good. Almost like we might be doing this parenting thing at some sort of passing level. Here’s hoping.

It strikes me this week that the stages your kids hit blend together in this seamless sort of way that makes it hard to recognize the boundaries between them. We don’t change diapers anymore and we don’t wipe bums anymore and now I don’t pack snacks anymore or even feed pets with my own hands. All of this requires the usual amount of shepherding and cueing and reminding but the boys are quite capable in many areas of life and this makes every day so much easier.

And this, very much to my surprise, makes me sad.

For the first time since the birth of our twins I am looking at babies again with more than a shudder and a thought of “thank heavens that thing doesn’t live at my house.” For the first time since that fateful fall of 2007 I am starting to look back with something like fondness or reminiscence or wistfulness. This is weird.

Thing is some of these milestones have passed for us and we won’t be there again and while it’s easy to be thankful about sleeping through the night and all the good things that come with older kids it’s just as easy to forget how hard the other stuff is. A good friend posted a picture that featured our two little monsters less than a year old and it gave me some pangs I did not believe myself capable of. The first year of Sam and Jo’s existence in our house is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and not something I look to repeat but then (I’ve already written about that here) somehow I miss it. Isn’t life the strangest thing?

So as quickly as we see our kids entering new stages they are just as quickly leaving old ones. As important as it is that we hold on to the memories of those times past I suppose the challenge for us now is to keep a keen eye to the times present. Babies are cute, but so are 8 and 5 and 5 year olds.

There will be no more babies in our house and that’s sad but also ok. We have nephews and maybe someday nieces that need us to play a role and we will take that role and run with it.

…

Today is the Cremona Community Christmas Concert and all three of our boys have a role, Ben the pianist and Sam and Jo with the preschool choir. Then it’s off to fun hockey and tomorrow is another day of another week so rinse and repeat I suppose. I’ll enjoy the music and the sport today but tonight, after the boys are in bed and quiet, I’ll likely take some time to look at some pictures of some of those stages we have passed.